Discipleship for People with Depression: Walking Together Through the Darkness

Depression doesn't disqualify you from discipleship. In fact, if you're walking through the darkness of depression right now, having a mentor who will walk beside you might be one of the most important spiritual relationships you could have.

But let's be clear from the start: discipleship isn't therapy, and your mentor isn't a counselor. Depression is a real, clinical condition that often requires professional treatment. What discipleship offers is something different—spiritual companionship, biblical hope, and the presence of someone who reminds you of God's faithfulness when you can't feel it yourself.

The Unique Challenges of Discipleship During Depression

Depression creates barriers that other struggles don't. When you're battling depression, the very things that might help—showing up, being vulnerable, believing God cares—feel nearly impossible.

You might struggle to engage. Depression saps motivation and energy. Responding to texts, showing up for meetings, even wanting to grow spiritually can feel overwhelming. The guilt of being a "bad disciple" compounds the shame you already carry.

You might doubt everything. Depression distorts your thinking. Verses that once encouraged you now feel hollow. Prayer feels like shouting into the void. You wonder if God hears you, if He cares, if any of this matters.

You might feel like a burden. Depression whispers lies: "You're too much. Too needy. Too broken. You'll exhaust your mentor. They'll give up on you."

You might withdraw. When you're depressed, isolation feels safer than connection. The thought of being seen in your suffering—of letting someone witness your darkness—can feel unbearable.

These aren't failures. They're symptoms. And a good mentor understands that discipleship during depression requires patience, flexibility, and grace that goes deeper than typical mentoring relationships.

What the Psalmist Knew About Depression

The Bible doesn't use the word "depression," but it's honest about the darkness many believers experience. Psalm 42 gives voice to what depression feels like spiritually:

*"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."* (Psalm 42:5-6)

The psalmist is having a conversation with his own soul—preaching truth to himself because his feelings don't match reality. He's honest about the turmoil, the downcast spirit, the tears that have become his food "day and night" (v. 3). This isn't toxic positivity. It's raw faith wrestling with raw pain.

Notice what he doesn't do: pretend everything is fine, spiritualize away the struggle, or blame himself for not having enough faith. He acknowledges the darkness and chooses hope anyway—not because he feels it, but because God is faithful.

This is discipleship during depression: someone helping you preach truth to your soul when your soul won't listen on its own.

How Mentors Can Walk Alongside Depression

If you're mentoring someone with depression—or considering reaching out to a mentor while you're battling it yourself—here's what healthy discipleship looks like in the midst of darkness.

1. Show Up Consistently Without Demanding Engagement

Depression makes everything harder, including showing up. As a mentor, your presence matters more than your program. Send the text even if they don't respond. Offer to meet even if they cancel. Keep reaching out without guilt-tripping or making them feel like a project.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is: "I'm not going anywhere. No pressure to be okay. I'm just here."

For those being mentored: communicate what you can handle. "I can't do a full meeting, but could we text this week?" or "I'm struggling to engage with the study—can we just talk instead?" is perfectly acceptable. A good mentor will adapt.

2. Normalize the Struggle Without Minimizing It

Depression thrives in secrecy and shame. When mentors acknowledge that many faithful believers battle depression—including biblical figures—it breaks the lie that spiritual maturity equals emotional wellness.

Share stories of others who've walked this path. Mention that Elijah, after his greatest spiritual victory, wanted to die (1 Kings 19). That Jeremiah cursed the day he was born (Jeremiah 20:14). That Jesus himself experienced such anguish in Gethsemane that he sweat blood (Luke 22:44).

But don't minimize. "Just pray more" isn't helpful. "God won't give you more than you can handle" isn't biblical (1 Corinthians 10:13 is about temptation, not suffering). "Claim joy" doesn't work when your brain chemistry is fighting you.

Depression is real. Faith and mental illness can coexist. Medication isn't a failure. Therapy isn't unspiritual. A good mentor knows this.

3. Point to Professional Help Without Shame

One of the most important things a mentor can do is encourage professional treatment. Depression often requires counseling, sometimes medication, and possibly intensive care.

As a mentor, you can say: "I'm so glad we're meeting, and I also think talking to a counselor who specializes in depression could really help. That's not giving up—it's getting the right help for what you're facing. Can I help you find someone?"

> Ready for a mentor who will walk with you through the hard seasons? Start your discipleship journey with someone who understands that spiritual growth doesn't pause during struggles—it often deepens through them.

For those being mentored: if your mentor suggests therapy, hear it as care, not dismissal. They're not saying "I can't help you." They're saying "I want you to have all the support you need." Discipleship and therapy serve different roles, and both are valuable.

4. Bring Scripture Without Spiritual Bypassing

The Word of God is living and active, but it's not a magic wand. Quoting verses at someone in depression without compassion or context can feel dismissive.

Instead, sit in the Psalms together—especially the lament psalms (Psalm 6, 13, 22, 42, 88). Let Scripture give voice to the pain before rushing to promises. When you do share hope, anchor it in God's character, not the person's feelings.

Romans 8:38-39 isn't helpful because it makes depression go away. It's helpful because it reminds us that nothing—not height, depth, angels, demons, present, future, or mental illness—can separate us from God's love in Christ.

That's hope that holds when feelings don't.

5. Adjust Expectations and Celebrate Small Wins

Discipleship during depression might not look like working through a curriculum or discussing deep theological questions. Some weeks, success is: they showed up. They texted back. They got out of bed.

Celebrate those wins. "I'm proud of you for being here today" matters more than you know. Progress isn't linear, and relapse isn't failure. Depression has seasons, and you're helping them survive this one.

As someone being mentored: give yourself permission to lower the bar. Spiritual growth during depression might mean clinging to one truth instead of mastering a lesson. That's enough. You're enough.

The Unique Gift Depression Brings to Discipleship

This might sound strange, but depression can deepen your faith in ways prosperity never could. Not because God causes depression (He doesn't), but because He meets us in our weakness.

When you're too depressed to feel joy, you learn that God's faithfulness doesn't depend on your feelings. When you can't muster belief, you discover that faith is a gift, not a work. When you're too exhausted to perform, you experience grace—actual, unearned, undeserved grace.

Paul wrote, "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insecurities, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10). Depression is a crucible that burns away self-reliance and reveals Christ as our only true strength.

A mentor who walks with you through depression witnesses this—and often grows in their own faith because of it.

What to Do When Your Mentor Doesn't Understand

Not every mentor will handle depression well. Some, despite good intentions, might say hurtful things: "Have you confessed any sin?" "Maybe you need to trust God more." "I went through hard times too, and I just chose joy."

If your mentor responds this way, it's okay to set a boundary: "I know you care, but that's not helpful for what I'm facing. What I need is for you to sit with me in this without trying to fix it."

If they can't adjust, it might be time to find a different mentor—someone who has either experienced depression themselves or is humble enough to learn. You deserve someone who sees your struggle as real, not a spiritual deficiency.

Consider looking for resources on discipleship through crisis or discipleship for anxiety that might resonate with your experience and help both you and your mentor navigate this season.

Practical Tips for Discipleship During Depression

Whether you're the mentor or the one being mentored, here are concrete ways to make discipleship work during depression:

For mentors:

Check in regularly, even if they don't respond
Offer flexibility in format (text, voice note, short call instead of full meetings)
Ask permission before giving advice
Listen more than you talk
Don't take withdrawal personally
Pray for them consistently, and let them know you are
Educate yourself on depression (read books, listen to podcasts, talk to counselors)

For those being mentored:

Communicate what you need, even if it's "I don't know"
Be honest about bad days instead of masking
Ask for prayer even when you can't pray yourself
Accept help without guilt
Remember: showing up struggling is better than not showing up at all
Consider sharing this article with your mentor so they understand what you're facing

Hope for the Journey

Depression lies. It tells you that you'll always feel this way, that God has abandoned you, that no one cares, that you're a burden, that it's hopeless.

But here's the truth: depression is not the final word. God's love is.

You might not be able to see it or feel it right now. That's okay. Your mentor can hold hope for you until you can hold it yourself. They can remind you of truths you can't access in the fog. They can be the physical presence of a God who promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).

Discipleship during depression isn't about fixing you—because you're not broken in the way shame says you are. It's about companionship. It's about someone walking beside you in the valley of the shadow of death and reminding you that even here, God is with you (Psalm 23:4).

The darkness is real. But so is the light. And you don't have to wait until you're "better" to be worthy of discipleship. You're worthy now, in the midst of the struggle, exactly as you are.

Take the Next Step

If you're battling depression and need someone to walk with you, or if you're mentoring someone through this darkness and want structure that allows for flexibility, discipleship can be a lifeline.

Start your discipleship journey today. Find a mentor who will sit with you in the hard places, remind you of truth when you can't see it, and walk beside you until the fog lifts—and even after, because discipleship isn't just for crisis seasons. It's for life.

You're not alone in this. And you don't have to carry it by yourself.